CHAPTER XII
AT THE HOUSE OF BALARAM, [**] A DISCIPLE
SRi RaMAKRISHNA arrived from Dakshineswara at the house of His disciple Balaram about ten in the morning and had His breakfast there. It was this house which the Bhagavan chose to make His chief "vineyard" on that day. Here He had bound devotee after devotee by the tie of Divine Love. It was here that He had so often sung the Name of the Lord and danced at the head of His disciples. It seemed as if another Gouranga [*+] had set up in the house of His disciple Srivash a fair for the "buying and selling of Divine Love."
How great was the Master's love for His disciples! There in the Temple of Kali alone by
[paragraph continues] Himself He often cried like a child, He so longed to see them. Sleepless at night He would say to the Divine Mother: "O Mother! Deign to draw them into the fold! They are so devoted to Thee! Oh, how I long to see them! Mother, bring them to me or take me to them." Was this the secret of His coming to Balaram's house so frequently? He declared, indeed, to everyone: "Balaram is a true Bhakta, he daily worships the Lord of the universe. His offerings are therefore always acceptable." But whenever He came to His house, He would say: "Go and invite my Narendra and other disciples. Offering food to them is the same as offering it to God Himself. These, indeed, are not ordinary men. They are parts of Divinity manifest in the flesh." And many a time had the devotees met there "at the Durbar of God's love."
Mahendra, [**] who taught in a neighboring school, had heard that Sri Ramakrishna was visiting at Balaram's house, so having a little leisure he came about noon to see Him. The mid-day dinner was over and the Bhagavan was in the drawing-room resting. His young disciples
were seated round Him. From time to time He was taking out spices from a small pouch. Mahendra, entering, bowed down and saluted His feet.
Sri Ramakrishna (affectionately): Mahendra! You here! Is there no school to-day?
Mahendra: I have come directly from school. I had just now nothing of importance to attend to there.
A devotee: No, Revered Sir, he is playing the truant.
Mahendra (to himself): Ah me! It is as if some Invisible Force had drawn me to this place.
The Bhagavan then grew more serious and bade them take their seats. He said: For some time past I have not been able to touch any metal. Can you tell me why it is? Once when I put my hand on a metal cup, it was hurt as if stung by a horned fish and the pain lasted for a long while. I had to use a metal pitcher and I thought that I should be able to carry it by covering it with a towel; but no sooner did I touch it than I had excruciating pain in my hand. Then I prayed to my Divine Mother: "O Mother! I shall never touch metal again. Do Thou forgive me this time."
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